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Pirate Day Joke
Bob decides to quit his job and join a pirate's crew aboard the Black Star. Ships captain, Capt'n Black Peg, was a fearsome-looking pirate who sported a peg leg, one hooked hand and raggity black eye patch.
After a few days on the ship, Bob approached Capt'n Black Peg, "Captain," he asks, "I apologize in advance if I offend ye, but I must be told the tale of thy peg leg"
Capt'n Black Peg replied "Arrgh me matey, no offense t'all. Twas me first day at sea as a young un. The sea was churning, a great swell hit the ship and threw me o're board into the devilish waves. Before me crew could pull me from Davy's Locker out of the brink, the Kracken swam up and pulled off me leg with its giant, sharp beak then disappeared forever into the black, boiling sea."
Bob says, with incredulity, "That was a terrible fate! And what, may I ask ye, suffered the loss of your hand?"
Capt'n Black Peg says "Arrgh me matey, "twas me second day at sea. The sea was churning, a great swell hit the ship and threw again me o're board into the devilish waves. Before me crew could pull me from Davey's Locker out of the brink, the Kracken swam up and pulled off me hand with its giant, sharp beak then disappeared forever, again, into the black, boiling sea.
By this time,Bob's convinced the Kracken as it out for Capt'n Black Peg. He asks, Capt'n, were it the Kracken what stole your right eye?
Capt'n Black Peg says "Arrgh, twas me third day at sea. The sea was churning, a cloud of migrating Snowy egrets flew o're and one pee'd in me right eye."
Bob responds, "Pardon me for asking, but how can a wee bit of pee make ye lose ye fine right eye?"
Capt'n Black Peg "Twas not the wee piss what stole me eye, twas me first day at sea with the hook"